Do you have depression? If so, how do you deal with yours? I'll let you know below how I do.
Depression is probably the most annoying thing I have to live with almost sometime during every couple of weeks, or a couple times a month depending on what's going on around me. I don't know what causes my depression. This week has been bad though. And it's VERY hard to talk about with other people who don't understand because they will say things to me like, "Well don't let it get you down!" Okay LOL that's DUMB to say. Or, "Don't let it break your sober streak!" Okay, well First of all, if I wanted to drink I would have already. How about don't talk? If someone is depressed and you don't know what to say to them, how about saying instead, "I'm sorry you're dealing with that, is there anything I can do to help?", or say, "I'll be praying for healing for you and for a clear peace of mind for you." But then in saying that, I have another question that has just ran through my mind. Do you know when people say, "Hey, I'm praying for you!" or, "Prayers to you!" I wonder how many of those people really actually do pray for you when they say they are.
This week has been tough for me. I don't know why. Maybe because my husband and I argued a hand full of times. And on top of that I've been sick all week." Maybe cooped up in the house for too long? Maybe because my mind wonders when I see things on the internet that wasn't meant for me to see, but I seen it anyway. When you feel sad about things and betrayed it just all builds up in this dark depression and I wonder sometimes why am I even here. When the people who are supposed to love you the most, but then you find out about secrets, you just kind of wonder why is this happening to me again.
So when the depression kicks in, I just have to wait for it to pass by after it's finished taunting me. I take 200mg of medication for depression 2 times a day and it does help tremendously. I can only imagine how bad it would be if I didn't have that help for my brain to cope. I guess I just felt I had more support. Sometimes I just feel invisible. Useless. Unloved. Unimportant. Just once, I'd like to just leave the house on a Saturday and just do some things that I love to do.
So let me tell you some ways that got me through my week of depression.
~ I read daily. Whether it's from a book or an app from my iPhone, I make sure to read something.
~ I write every day on this website. Writing is very healing to me and I feel it's important for my self-care.
~ I read in my Bible everyday and I also read and go over notes that I took in Church on Sunday morning and Sunday evening service.
~ I pray for our Countries leaders. President Donald Trump and Vice Pres Vance. They get my prayers everyday. As well as all of the states leaders.
~ I pray for my family and friends.
~ I'm very bad about praying for myself, and that's something that I have to work on.
Things that I wish I had more time to do that I love are,
~ Long bubble baths with no other care
~ Drawing and Painting
~ Sewing
~ Craft Shows and Farmer Markets.
And there's more i'd love to do. But I have a very bad habit of putting myself last. So it get's depressing. But I just remember that God loves me. Jesus will never leave my heart. And when I die, I know I'm going to heaven to meet my Lord and Savior. First thing I'm going to do is hug Jesus, then find my mom and tell her how much I love her.
So if you are dealing with depression like I do, try to write about it. It's very healing. Try praying for others. Don't forget to pray for yourself. And know that there are always number to call if you need extra assistance with a professional.
But anyway, I pray you all have a great weekend. hugs to all, and I will see you all Monday.
xoxoxo, Michelle Neal