Are You An Adult Bully?

All children usually have to go through bullying at some point in their life. Whether they are the one's getting bullied or the one who's bullying others, sadly I wish no children ever had to deal with bullying. And usually if a child is a bully then there's usually a problem at home with their home life, etc. They might just be hanging around the wrong crowd being peer-pressured into being mean or their "so called" friends wont like them anymore. But what about an adult? If someone is trying to change their life for the better, than you should respect that choice and to help them cope with changes to come in their life.

Years ago, before my drinking got pretty out of control I had two very close female adult friends. Every Saturday we would have a girls day out day. It was so much fun and I couldn't wait for every Saturday to arrive. We would always go to the Joplin Empire Market in Joplin, Missouri. If you don't know it, it's a really awesome "Farmer's Market". I used to get fresh garden veggies when I didn't have enough of my own that I grew and we would just have so much fun shopping together and visiting all of the vendors there who created all homemade items. 

After the market, we would stop at our favorite Crystal shops and spend a few hours doing that, and maybe go to a few other places after that. Then we would always go eat lunch together. Always somewhere that served alcohol though. We would have drinks and visit and eat and just have so much fun together. 

But Saturday after Saturday after Saturday, my drinking started getting so bad. We would always stop at the same liquor store on the way home from our day together and we would go inside and shop new wines and liquors. That's just what we did every weekend. I got to where I was buying not just 1 bottle of wine to take home with me, but atleast 2 or 3 bottles. And usually some spirits too. I had to try all the red wines I hadn't tried before. 

After I would get home with all the wine, I guarantee all the bottles would be gone by morning time. And that was just me drinking them by myself. My husband has never been a drinker in his older adult life so I would wait for him to go to bed and then start my own little party in my office at the back of the house. 

Me and my friends did this tradition for about 2 years together. I was falling apart. My husband and I were fighting all time time because he doesn't like to be around the drinking. I was so hateful at times and that's just NOT me. I'm the kindest person ever. But like my mom was, get a few drinks in me and I get mouthy. I turn into someone different. So after all of this and putting my husband through so much, I decided I was DONE drinking. 

I told my husband and even promised him that I wouldn't drink anymore. And in my heart, I really did mean it! I told my two friends that I wouldn't be going with them anymore on Saturdays because I couldn't be around the alcohol and not say NO. So I stopped going with them on the weekends. I did miss it so much. But I was a full blown alcoholic at that time and had been for YEARS. My friends got LIVID with me. Instead of saying, "Hey, Michelle, it's okay! We got your back! You can still come and go with us. No one has to drink!" They bullied me! They made fun of me and laughed at me all over Facebook. They mocked me. It got to where it was so bad, I was crying myself to sleep every night because these 2 ladies were supposed to be my true friends. This person and that person would tell me things that they were saying about me and it was really embarrassing! 

You can tell someone with Manic Depression, "O hey! Just ignore them! Let it go!" No, you can't. I have a very difficult time controlling my thoughts and keeping them quiet. And that's even on my meds. So anyway, I decided I was done, and I eventually had to block them both from all social media accounts. After they seen I blocked them, it got worse. I didn't think it could get worse than it already had been. I just did my best to let it go and move on with my life. And NOTE, these women were both older than I am. 

So, my husband and I joined a local church and just loved it so much that we even became members after some time of attending there. We had been wanting to start back to church for quite some time but I wasn't going to go to church and keep drinking at the same time. But the depression from the bullying just wouldn't leave me. I was even more depressed now and so sad how they could do this to me. I ended up getting a job and I loved it! The only problem was that we served alcohol at my workplace. Not even a month of working there, I was already drinking again. Hiding it this time though! I was drinking at work, drinking when I got home from church, drink drink drink! 

It was only about 4 months after that, when I ended up in the suicide unit in the hospital. I had hit ROCK BOTTOM. You can read about me hitting ROCK bottom in an earlier blog that I wrote. 

So I would just like to let everyone know this. Please, please, please, if someone you are truly friends with and love, please support them if they want to better their life! My life and your life is so important. God put us here on Earth to love others and to show others kindness. Listen, I'm not saying I'm this perfect doopy-doo lady, but I never bully anyone and always support the people I care about. Especially if they are trying to improve their lifestyle.

Do I have an issue with other people who drink? Absolutely NOT! And I'm friends with many people who drink. I Just Can't Handle It! Alcoholism runs in my bloodline and I wanted to stop that cycle. I'm lucky to be alive and it's all thanks to my Father in Heaven. 

So, I really hoped you liked my blog today!
Don't be a bully! lol
xoxoxoxo, Michelle Neal