Welcome to my first blog

I'm very excited to share my stories with you. I just finished writing my first book last month and it's in the process of being released to the public, so I can't give a whole lot of details about the early years of my life just yet. I don't want to spoil anything. The name of my book is called, "The Silence In Rest A While". I can't be more excited about its release to the public, even though it has the hardest things in my life I've ever had to live through.

So, just to let you know a little about me. I was born in Manhattan, Kansas and I still reside in Kansas, but in a small town in SE Kansas. I just always call it a po' dunk town. Also known as, "A small Cowboy Town". Population 3,000 or so.

I am a sister, aunt, mother, wife , nana of the most amazing grandkids, cat momma x2, and I am a momma to a poodle mix dog that I adopted from an animal shelter. She was taken away from a home from the police when they found out she was neglected with her nails grown all the way up under her paws where she couldn't walk and her hair was so long and matted she had to be completely shaved to the skin. 

I love to write, read, do crafts, take classic car photography, go to car shows, star and moon gazing and take pictures of the moon. I love sunflowers and gardening. I love Avon so I love to share it with my family and because an Avon Ambassador!

I grew up in a very abusive home. My father served in the US Navy in the Vietnam War. He was a great provider, but had very challenging mental issues that you will learn more about when my book is released. 

He was verbally, mentally, physically and sexually abusive to me from the ages of 7 to the age of 17. I will add that I have an older brother and sister. They were also abused, but their story is not mine to tell.

My mother and my father were both horrible alcoholics. Drinking was just the normal thing in my family. Drink, fight, drink, fight, drink, fight. Just normal. So growing up in that environment, I didn't know how life was supposed to be different from that. 

When I finally got out, I immediately got into an abusive relationship of 13 years and my ex-husband also mentally, physically, verbally and sexually assaulted me. 

I am 51 now, and wow how my life has been a journey. I want to just yell it all out at you right now, but baby steps right? I will just say on this day for my first blog that I have been to many licensed therapists and by all three therapists was diagnosed with Manic Depression, Severe Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder and PTSD. I just didn't want to believe what they were diagnosing me with, so I was in denial and kept making new appointments with new therapists. That was only 3 years ago! I have been living with all of those diagnoses all of my life because I refused to believe I had all those issues and wouldn't take medications for it.  WOW, was I stupid!

I struggled with alcohol off and on from the ages of seventeen to the age of 50. So, you can only imagine how crazy it was living with all of the mental illnesses I have plus on top of everything struggling with addiction. Medications WON'T work if you're pouring alcohol into the middle of the pot! But that's what I did until I hit rock bottom the second week of July 2024.

I couldn't do it any longer. I admitted myself to detox in a hospital near my area and after detoxing for a week, I went straight to an inpatient rehab facility for 32 days. What a life changer! 

Just since Sep of 2024, I have already written my first book that's almost out to the public, started this blog, fixed broken relationships and more. 

I can't wait to share this journey with you! Where to start tomorrow? Wow I don't know, but I pray that talking about my mental illnesses and my struggles that I've had with addiction can at least help one person! 

So thank you so much for being here with me on this recovering journey.

Tomorrow I will share with you, the 13 year abusive relationship that I finally escaped alive. It should be a pretty lengthy read and very intense!

xoxoxo, Michelle Neal